


Certain Things (Show Me What We Could Be)

by 87sighs



Series: Certain Things [1]
Category: The Bold Type
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/F, Polyamory
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-15
Updated: 2019-06-15
Packaged: 2020-05-12 02:19:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,529
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19219597
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/87sighs/pseuds/87sighs
Summary: “Do you think you can love two people at the same time? Like, in love?”





	Certain Things (Show Me What We Could Be)

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't seen Season 3 yet - just some midseason stills and spoilers - but this is an alternate take on parts of it and Season 2. It's entirely based on my love of women and dislike of love triangles.

 

 

She tilts her head down, says lowly against Tia’s ear, “I’m not fighting a bunch of drunk women for the bouquet.”

Kat dances with Tia at the reception, hands loosely clasped around her. They sway among the other couples to smooth saxophone and easy rhythms. It’s mellow, a completely different vibe from earlier when Tia laughingly dragged Kat out to the dance floor for the electric slide.

Tia’s body vibrates, and Kat can feel her smile. “It might be good luck. I’ll risk it.” She inhales as if to say something else but doesn’t.

Kat wishes she could say the way her breath catches is a result of her girlfriend’s words but it’s not. Not anxiety about having that kind of talk, not excitement either. Her heart rises to her throat - beating too quickly, too hard to go unnoticed, she’s sure of it - and there’s only one reason. One person. Adena.

She tries to hide it better than she did earlier as the wedding ceremony began. Adena stopped dead in the aisle, camera held out awkwardly as she forgot her job and focused entirely, for what felt like an eternity, on Kat. She stared back, happy, confused. She knew Adena was back in New York, but a few text messages and an interrupted call while Kat was on the train couldn’t convey their entire history. Didn’t prepare Kat for seeing her in person again. Wouldn’t answer why there hadn’t been more yet.

“Baby? Kat?” Tia’s voice had brought her back, made her close her mouth. Adena composed herself as well, gave a hesitant wave and continued to the back of the venue to prepare.

Now Adena’s smiling, relaxed, chatting with some of the bride’s family. She definitely notices Kat, gives another little wave.

Tia turns her head then looks back up at Kat. Her body doesn’t go stiff exactly, but their moment fades. It’s easy to blame it on the song ending and only that.

Kat squeezes her hips. “I’m going to talk to her. Is that--”

“Sure.”

The DJ cuts off any further conversation, calls all the women out to take their shot. Kat loses Tia to the melee and Adena to her duty.

 

__________

 

Adena literally throws her arms around Kat, hugs her tight like they can make up for every moment taken from them over the past months in just a few short seconds. There are tears in Adena’s eyes when she finally pulls back, hands going to Kat’s face just briefly but it’s like an echo of the past seeing her beaming with joy.

Kat fights back her own tears, clears her throat to make introductions.

“Adena, this is my girlfriend Tia. Tia, this is Adena.”

Politely Adena shakes Tia’s hand. “It’s nice to meet you.”

“You too.” Kat puts her arm around her back, feels Tia lean in. “I’ve heard a lot about you.”

Adena looks to Kat, still smiling but gentler now.

It’s the end of a long fun night, all the official festivities done and people just hanging around talking. The trio sit at a table covered in crumbs and condensation rings. It makes sense, now that Kat can actually process what’s going on, how Adena got this gig through a friend of a friend.  She tells them she’s been picking up extra projects when she can because the immigration process is long, there are so many hoops to jump through, and good lawyers are expensive.

“I’m sorry to hear that.”

“Yeah,” Kat adds, reaches across the table to hold Adena’s hand. “If there’s anything I can do...”

She accepts the gesture, thanks them both but shakes her head. “It is actually a good thing. I’m here now.” Her fingers tighten around Kat’s before letting go. “I’m back for good.”

“Wow, that’s...that’s amazing, Adena. I’m so happy for you.”

Tia barely says anything for the rest of the reception or the ride home. Kat’s lost in her own thoughts. The phone calls and emails between her and Adena had gotten more sporadic as they both settled into new lives, drastically different time zones. It was natural though no less painful. And Kat can understand why she’d waited until getting her life adjusted in the city again, but that was weeks ago. There’s been plenty of time since.

They’re a block and a half from Tia’s apartment when she says, “Adena’s the ex.”

It’s not nearly as conversational as it sounds. Kat was hoping they could make it through the night without this becoming a thing, just ignore the awkwardness. Because acknowledging it makes it real and complicated. They’re so close to the door, to a nice night just for them, but it feels like this is a thread that’s about to be unraveled.

She hesitates in the foyer, wonders whether to take off her shoes or not. “We’ve talked about exes, babe.”

“But she’s _the_ ex...the one that got away.”

Tia’s going about her usual routine, makeup and clothes coming off - not how Kat wanted - tying up her hair and Kat follows suit, trying to sort her feelings as they talk. Something short of arguing but just as unsettling. A careless word here or the wrong look there and Kat feels like the balance could tip.

It doesn’t. They make it through the evening.

But a few days later it finally comes.

“If Adena never left--”

“No, that’s not fair,” Kat whines. She forces air out through her nose. “Baby, what is this?”

Her eyes don’t meet Kat’s but she says, “You only ended because she left. She had to leave.”

“Yeah.”

“I don’t know, just-- I know she means a lot to you, that you’ve kept in touch, but seeing the way you look at her it just made it all real.”

“This is real.” Kat pulls Tia to her, presses her lips to her forehead. “I love being with you. Nothing’s changed.”

 

__________

 

It’s not the whole truth to say Adena had to leave. Yes, the US immigration system is fucked up and it put Adena in an impossibly hard position, but she made a choice. To leave willingly instead of being forced, to endure the long road to permanency rather than temporary visas. To not tell Kat until her mind was made up.

Scarlet’s Paris Fashion Week party was supposed to be a night of celebration. It was and Kat set a new standard for what she could accomplish. But what’s carved in her memory is sitting on the end of the hotel bed, hearing Adena admit that they only had a few more weeks together. Thinking one thought,   _You’re giving up on us_.

It was selfish and raw. Kat was able to see through the pain eventually, to understand Adena’s fears as well as her own. She and Adena are better for it now. Or so she thought.  

 

__________

 

Adena digs into her bowl, smiles when she looks up to find Kat staring. The conversation has flowed naturally between them, the laughter, but for a few moments they eat and let the restaurant conversations weave around them. Kat can tell when Adena wants to say something - the way she wipes her mouth with her napkin, the shadow that enters her eyes.

“I have to confess something.”

Kat takes a sip of her soda, leans back in her chair because Adena sounds serious. “Okay.”

“I was too nervous to call you when I first returned. In part because I knew you had a girlfriend, that you had moved on.” She tugs at her ear, embarrassed when she says, “I looked you both up online.”

“Adena El-Amin” - Kat smirks, trying for playful because of the weird pull in her gut - “Are you telling me you internet stalked my relationship?” Of course Adena could tell just from a few simple photos, could see behind that veneer of friendship.

She begs, “Don’t say it that way. It wasn’t my finest moment.” Adena’s still nervous, studies Kat’s face trying to gauge her.

“You know my good friend Jane Sloan wrote an article about this _exact_ thing.”  Adena shakes her head, blushing. Kat’s humor fades a second later. She looks away. “I wondered. Why you haven’t called or wanted to hang out,” she clarifies, wills the burning behind her eyes to go away.

“Kat, I’m so sorry. That was a mistake. It was difficult to reconcile with my feelings. So many things have changed, but I wasn’t ready for that to be one of them. Although I should have expected it. You’re an amazing woman. ” Adena takes her hand, the painful longing still clear in her gaze. “I’m sorry. Maybe I shouldn’t be saying this--”

“No, it’s okay,” Kat reassures her. She squeezes Adena’s fingers. “I’m glad we can talk.”

“I don’t want you to doubt how I feel about you. Not again. I’ll always love you, Kat.”

She looks away, at a loss where to go from here.

Adena waits patiently. She breaks the spell with, “Tia’s lovely, Kat. I’m happy for you.” Her smile is thin but sincere. “She’s perfect for you.”

Kat just tilts her head, curious.  

“She’s kind, passionate about politics. Beautiful.”

Kat nods, warmed by Adena’s words. “She’s pretty great.”

“Is that how you met, politics?”

“Yeah, volunteering before the last mayoral election.” Kat remembers it with a smile, sharing A Look with Tia as they debated some of their fellow volunteers. She had her game face on, and Kat thought it was unfair just how attractive she was. Long hours in that stuffy campaign office led to time spent outside of it and here they are. “What can I say, fighting for civil rights is a major turn on.”

They go back to eating, Adena asks how her food is, and Kat wants to move on, except-

“I felt like that too, you know. Like time had barely passed. It’s been...a little bit of a problem.”

“Would it help if I gave you space?”

Kat swallows. “No, don’t do that. That’s not who I am.” She doesn’t just turn her back on people she cares about. She waits for Adena to acknowledge that with a nod. “I love you.” Kat shrugs, adds, “You know that” like it’s not monumental at all. “Things’ll work out.”

“Okay.”

She nudges Adena’s leg beneath the table. “Besides, who else is gonna teach you about memes?”

“Did we not just establish that I’m technologically savvy now?”

Kat laughs, “Yeah right. And late night taco runs? I haven’t forgotten about those. You _better_ call me the next time--”

“I will,” she promises, grinning.

 

__________

 

Tia cannot carry a tune, and it’s adorably tragic. So she’s the guest judge on this karaoke night and decides that the crowd’s applause was loudest for Jane.

Kat feels betrayed, and Tia’s wide-eyed innocence doesn’t mean a thing.

“You knew.”

“I didn’t,” she denies, chuckling.

Yep, not swayed at all. But a bet’s a bet so, “Alright, drinks on me.”

Tia asks in this honeyed voice “Can we get fries too,” and Kat’s pretty sure her friends are laughing behind her but it’s not in doubt. She can get anything she wants, and Kat tells her just that, doesn’t miss the flare of arousal she causes. Tia looks her up and all the way back down before Kat turns and walks away grinning. They both can play.

While she waits at the bar, Kat peeks at them all talking, happy that tonight’s been easy fun.

__________

 

Things have changed. As much as she wants to deny it, Kat knows it’s true. Her relationship with Adena just needed that one spark of seeing each other again, and now there’s this unspoken thing between her and Tia. It’s not straight cause and effect. Maybe Kat’s naive to think that but she does. Yeah, Tia feels some way about Adena being back in her life, but there’s more to it.

And she’s not stupid. Adena’s not too enthusiastic about tagging along either, feeling like a third wheel. Kat sighs. It’s all just so-

“Do you think you can love two people at the same time? Like, in love?”

Sutton thinks on it for a second, answers yes at the same time Jane says no.

“Okay, well, if we’re talking about you--”

“--kinda the whole point, yeah--”

“--then maybe, but I couldn’t. I just feel like I’d have a preference even if it’s subconscious.”

Sutton eyes her for a few seconds, casually asks “Do you?”

Kat considers her feelings. Thinks hard about it. Since the first time Adena graced the pages of Scarlet, things have always been intense given their circumstances and personalities. They still are, and reuniting after being forced apart has definitely amplified that connection these last few weeks. Being with Adena, the first person she loved romantically, still gives her that rush. It’s a flame, sometimes white-hot other times pulsing and low, but always there.

She didn’t expect to find that again - didn’t want to, honestly, if the crushing heartbreak came at the end - and this thing she has with Tia is so different. The buildup was slower, more stable because of Tia’s situation and Kat’s hesitance to trust her heart to someone new. But it was no less breathtaking when Kat realized this was something special too. That she was ready to go all in and able to be the person Tia deserved in return. Now they have a foundation, balance, a shared language even in their differences, and it’s only enhanced by touch and intimacy.  

So when Kat thinks about the answer it’s a clear no.

“I feel different things for them, but it’s not like one is more than the other.” It’s the simplest way she can say it, and she thinks her friends can fill in the blanks. “Anyway, it’s not like I’m trying to trick anybody. Tia’s my girlfriend, Adena’s my close friend, and I’ve been up front about everything.”

Sutton’s been all too happy to watch her pinball around, calling this the best triangle yet. Now, maybe sensing Kat’s growing stress, she’s softer asking “Have you? Does Tia know how you feel about her?”

Kat shifts. “I tell her I love being with her all the time.” And they did go to a wedding together. Isn’t that usually some kind of milestone?

Jane says, “But you haven’t told her you love her.” Sympathetic and doe-eyed compared to Sutton’s careful probing. “We know…”

Kat shakes her head, closes her eyes. “If she doesn’t trust me anymore, that doesn’t matter anyway. Does it?” She groans, knowing the only way to make this work is to talk it out.

Sutton pats her leg. “Women.”

 

__________

 

Kat pauses before moving on to the next show in her queue, decides to bring it up now. That draws Tia’s attention from her laptop, relaxed dark eyes focusing on her instead. Her legs are across Kat’s lap, and Kat picks at the fabric of her leggings. Cute orange toes nudge her.

“I’m doing a museum thing with Adena Saturday night. It might be fun,” she hints instead of asking outright, her smile a little unsure.

Tia thinks about it but ultimately turns her down this time. “It’s your weekend,” she says.

Out of the blue, Kat hears SZA lament being the weekend girl, and if she wanted to start an argument she’d ask Tia now if that makes her nine to five. She doesn’t though. Far from it.

“Tia, I’m trying.”

When Kat doesn’t say anything else, Tia presses, “Trying what exactly?” Her words and face are kind of tight, but she doesn’t pull away from Kat’s touch. That’s encouraging, at least. It’s a genuine question.

One that Kat doesn’t really have the answer to. This is important to her in a really deep way. She wishes she could say why.

“I don’t want to intrude.”

Kat holds her hands up, puts on a huge smile. “I mean, I’ve got two.”

“You know what--”

“Alright, sorry sorry. Bad time for a joke,” she apologizes when the other woman starts to get up. Tia still retreats to the other end of the couch.  “Can we talk about this now? Like, really talk.”

Tia nods and says yes. It takes Kat some time to find her words, focus on this one thing first. She really hates this kind of stuff, all the emotion and analyzing, but she loves Tia more.

“Do you trust me?”

“Yes,” she answers immediately, and Kat can actually breathe freely with that massive weight gone.

“Okay. Good. ‘Cause I’ve done a lot of dumb shit, but that was a long time ago.” She leans in, makes sure Tia will meet her eyes. “I wouldn’t hurt you like that.”

Softly, “I know.”

But that still begs the question-

“Then what’s going on? I don’t like this distance between us and lowkey it feels like” - she wishes she could stop, doesn’t like the trembling of her voice - “like you’re trying to breakup with me sometimes and I’m starting to take that personally.”

Tia slides closer and reaches out to her, which Kat accepts. The dam holding back her emotions these past few weeks finally leaks. Their hands blend together in her blurry vision.

“I don’t want that, Kat. At all.” Tia shakes her head, sighs. “I’m sorry. We should’ve talked about this before now.”

“Yeah, we should’ve but that’s on me too.”

She takes some deep breaths, sniffs back her own tears. “I-- I don’t know if I’ll ever be out like you. Like Adena. And I’m afraid that at some point you’ll want something more--”

It hits Kat hard. Jealousy was too simple. This? She knows this insecurity, this fear of being inadequate. From working her way up at Scarlet. Being one of the very, very few Black faces growing up in New Canaan. And yeah, with Adena too. She doesn’t want to end another relationship that way, or have to repair it through contrite emails and phone calls full of regret.

“I’m happy though. I love...everything about who you are.” They’ve talked about it before, Kat knows it’s a concern. But Tia’s close friends know about them, and Kat’s, of course. That matters. Out and proud means something different for everyone, she gets it. “And I wouldn’t pressure you into something like that either.”

“I know. Just like I wouldn’t ask you to give up a friend...even if she’s more than that.” Tia meets her eyes, and they’re sad. Kat reaches out and brushes her warm cheek, feels Tia turn into it, savoring the connection. “You were her rock when she was dealing with her visa stuff.”

Kat frowns at the choice of words. “Who told you that?”

Her lips curve up slightly. “She did, at the wedding. You were in the bathroom.”

It takes a minute for Kat absorb, and in the end she just lifts her brows in question instead of giving voice to any of the many thoughts running through her head.

“We’ve talked some, about different things not just you.” Tia laughs, breathy and cautious. “I like her, that’s not the problem. I feel like I could tell her my whole life story, and she’d listen to every word. Is that how it is?”

This time Kat laughs, lets her head drop to the back of the couch. “Yeah, pretty much.”

Tia kisses her temple, puts her head against Kat’s.  

“You give so much time to everybody you care about, everything that matters to you, and I guess it’s been easier to step back than try to compete with that history.” She reconsiders, says, “Not easier.”

“I get it.” Kat turns her head to look at Tia. So close they’re sharing the same breath. “It’s not a competition though. I won’t lie, I still have feelings for her.” Kat doesn’t miss the small wince, not with them so close and trying to lay things bare. “But I care about you so much and I want us.”

It’s not exactly what she wants to say - she’s not sure but the words don’t seem right now, like some pacifier - but at least they’re getting on the same page.

And Tia says, “I love being with you too.”

“How about we go away for a weekend? No phones or--”

“You might not survive.”

“True. Okay, we won’t spend _a lot_ of time on our phones and no work.” She looks pointedly at Tia because she’s the real workaholic here. “Nothing. Just us.”

A few secluded days won’t solve anything, but it seems like a good start.

For the first time Tia smiles, clouds beginning to pass. Kat responds, tilts up to meet soft lips.

“I like how that sounds.”

 

__________

 

They decide on Chicago, which seems like a waste of an opportunity for bikinis and umbrella drinks but whatever. Kat’s happy, Tia’s excited and gorgeous, and that’s what this is all about.

The first time she says it, Kat’s sitting in bed, arms propped behind her head as she watches Tia hang some of her clothes. She smiles, listens to her call the front desk for more towels and pillows.

“I love you.” It’s ordinary, devoid of fear. She’s glad she waited.

Tia sits facing her, eyes never leaving Kat’s.  “I love you too.”

Her hands are braced on the bed beside Kat as she leans forward. Kat holds her close as they kiss, deep and unhurried, the short hair of her fade bristling under Kat’s fingers.

Kat groans when Tia pulls away and kneels between her legs. She hooks her hands behind Kat’s knees and tugs her down. Their mouths are insistent then Kat kisses at her neck, pulse point thumping under smooth brown skin, as Tia opens Kat’s shirt. She gets more worked up with each button undone, but Tia won’t let her reciprocate.

“Wait,” she gasps with Kat’s hands slipping further down. “The towels…”

She pins Kat’s arms above her head which-

Kat bites her lip. “This is good too.”

A knock at the door interrupts, and Tia jumps off the bed, fixes her shirt in a hurry. Kat just lays there, simmering with need. She’s wiggling out of her pants when Tia comes back.

She helps pull the jeans the rest of the way off, saying, “That’s not where you were” full of delicious promise. Kat stills her hands again. Tia grazes Kat’s ankle and keeps going up until she hovers above her already panting girlfriend.

Sightseeing gets postponed for awhile.

When they do leave their hotel room and venture into the Windy City, they banter about food - the deep dish pizza isn’t worth Kat’s time but the hot dogs are right though - and hang out in Millennium Park. Kat immediately changes her wallpaper to a shot of them kissing, reflected by the big silver jelly bean. It’s actually called Cloud Gate, Tia points out, but that doesn’t mean Kat’s wrong.

They wander together without any clear direction. It feels really great to reconnect with her girlfriend, to admire the person who does crosswords with almost as much seriousness as registering people to vote and who laughs with her whole body.

Kat thinks they’re going to be okay. She chooses to believe it.

When Tia comes apart in her arms, anchored only by Kat’s fingers in tight, slick heat, _I love you_ rolls off her tongue. Without restraint, words and body begging for more. They give and take, and Kat says it too. She whispers it against Tia’s skin all night.

There’s a moment on the way back to New York when Tia looks at her, just fucking glowing, and Kat’s heart swells.

She knows it then.

 

__________

 

“Are we here to chaperone?” Sutton asks.

Kat frowns, a little put off by her tone. “No.”

“Good, so I don’t have to stay sober.”

“What’s wrong?” She puts her arm around her friend’s shoulders as they make their way to the bar, sparing a look behind her to make sure Tia and Adena are okay, didn’t overhear. The lights and music of the club, not to mention the throng of people, really aren’t helping her focus on what’s got her best friend in a sour mood.

“Ignore grumpy. Man problems.”

Sutton just rolls her eyes and huffs, mumbles an apology then, “I’ll tell you about it later.”

But later comes earlier that she wanted, some time close to midnight and Sutton’s in the bathroom red-faced and struggling to keep it together. Her dating life being just the tip of her emotion. There are a lot of unhappy knocks on the locked door, but they don’t give a damn about that.

Kat only leaves to tell the other women, “I have to take care of Sutton. Friend emergency.”

Neither one of them questions it except to ask if they can help. Kat thanks them, says she and Jane have it covered, and if she wasn’t already in love with both of them this would be the kind of thing that clued her in. The concern in Adena’s eyes. A gentle hand on her back from Tia.

She gets a comforting kiss from her girlfriend, pulls Adena into her for a hug. They leave together after promising Kat they’ll let her know when they make it home.

She’s drained by the time she falls asleep in bed with her best friends, but Sutton’s going to be fine in time. There are two sweet messages on her phone, reread over and over, making sure she’s okay too.

There will be two more at dawn, and Kat smiles for the first time that day.

 

__________

 

She wonders though, _Is there something more?_ Or, not more but _something else_. Because her feelings for Adena don’t just fade into the background with time. She’d even say they’re stronger, given this chance at stability. When things are good with Tia, it’s like things are sharper with Adena too. And vice versa. Brighter, like HD.

It’s a very Jane thing to do but she looks it up, tries to understand what loving two people at the same time even means. Whether it’s possible to be with both. An open relationship or whatever people call it. Polyamory. She knows the terms, but that doesn’t mean she has the words to explain what it means to her. To open up to two very important people without messing it up.

Kat had a dream about the three of them. And yeah it was...kind of explicit. She woke up reluctantly, throat dry, but aching and wet when she moved her hips. When she told her friends, Sutton just blew on her drying nails, declared, “That’s so Raven” like it was some premonition. She doesn’t even know if she wants _that_ but maybe-

Things are great with Adena and Tia. They’ve gotten this far, and they’re three grown ass women. They can address what’s happening. It’s not crazy to think they could talk about this and figure something out, is it?

 

__________

 

This is all new territory, and the number of times Kat feels like she’s going to pass out is pretty high. But they’re all mature, and it’s obvious they’ve all thought about this since Kat broached the subject. That eases her mind some. She’s been the catalyst but the last thing she wants is to dictate or force the issue.

“Kat” - Adena says so much, just speaking her name - “I don’t feel that way.”

“Neither do I.” She looks at Adena, starts, “I haven’t been with many women, never been in an open relationship, but I do know what bad ones feel like.” For a moment it’s a reminder that Kat is still the least experienced in some ways. “I’m guessing you do…”

Adena nods, says, “I’ve been in a few.”

Tia looks back to Kat, nothing but warmth and support in her eyes when she says, “They’re never this respectful or honest.”

“I agree. I think just talking with each other will be the most important thing.”

So they clear the air and talk about what this means, what it doesn’t. Adena is the one to ask how wide open the relationship will be. Kat is completely sure she only wants these two women, and she tells them that right up front, lets them lead from there and decide what they need from this too. They all agree to keep the circle closed for now and revisit that later if someone’s feelings change. They talk about some fears, forcing them out of the shadows of their minds.

Kat knows this is the first of many conversations like this if they want it to work. And she laughs a little to herself that she, Kat Edison who used to avoid commitment, actually wants more of this. Communication and compromise and all the gritty things that hold relationships.

They get through it together, and sitting on the floor eating takeout curry that night feels like the most natural thing in the world.

 

__________

 

Kat’s a little nervous for some reason, picking up Adena for their second First Date. She knocks on the door to her apartment, and when Adena opens it all thoughts but one leave her. She feels lucky.

“Hi.”

Adena smiles, says “Hello.” She just looks at her for several seconds until Kat’s cheeks begin to heat.

“You look beautiful,” Kat tells her, watching Adena adjust the loose drape of her headscarf, dress and jacket sleeves pushed up to her elbows.

“As do you.” She makes sure her door is locked, purse is full of the essentials, then takes Kat’s offered arm. “So where are we going?” she asks full of teasing curiosity.

They go see a film. It’s at an artsy theater, and there are English subtitles. It’s more than fine because Adena sometimes leans over to explain something to Kat, her light perfume and raspy whisper completely overtaking Kat’s senses.

It’s actually a good story, but in this moment Kat is struck by Adena and how much she wants to take the lip pinned by Adena’s teeth between her own, public theater be damned. Her fingers twitch on Adena’s leg, and she tries to focus. It’s sweet relief when Adena suddenly grabs her face, sucks on her mouth hard and wanting. And it’s loud if the throat clearing with disapproval in the row behind them is any clue. She tastes of salt and truffle butter popcorn. Adena’s tongue swipes hers one more time, and Kat is electric when she pulls away.

Her girlfriend- oh yeah, she gets to call Adena that now, officially. Her girlfriend twines their fingers together, fails to smother her giggles. That draws a few more eyeballs.

Kat can’t even describe what it’s like seeing Adena like this, carefree, but it’s so good. And when they kiss? Still fire.

She leans over closer than necessary, murmurs against Adena’s ear, “Do _not_ get us kicked out of this fancy French movie please.”

At home at the end of the night, they keep kissing, mindful of nothing but each other until their lips are swollen and numb. Making love, aflame beneath the stars.

 

__________

 

Sutton kept raving about this new boutique, and looking at the purchases in her arms now, Kat has to agree. She’d found a nice purse for Adena and a pair of pumps for Tia that Kat’s already excited to see her wear.

Pulling down her shades against the glaring sun, Sutton just smirks at her. “I’m glad you can afford to have two girlfriends.”

Jane laughs her agreement, and Kat doesn’t mind the teasing at all but she has to say, “The loves of my life, to be honest.”

None of them is surprised by the words, Kat’s talked about how great she feels, happy and content with this dynamic. Still, there’s something in her voice that makes them smile differently. Sutton and Jane don’t say anything, they don’t need to.

At least, not until they go through a crosswalk. Jane says, “Wait. Aren’t _we_ the loves of your life?”

“Come on, you know that,” Kat answers without missing a beat. She grins then kisses the air dramatically, lips smacking. “You’re my sisters, my ride or dies, my soulmates--”

“--laying it on a little thick--”

“My homies.” They all laugh. “I have a lot of love to give, tiny Jane. So much love.”

 

__________

 

Kat’s sprawled on her stomach, the bedsheet snaking around her body but not doing much to cover anything. It’s later than she should be in bed still, but having a day off and Adena warm against her back makes it hard to care. The other woman purrs, lips caressing her skin, fingers brushing Kat’s arm mindlessly.

“The three of us should go out to dinner or something soon. We haven’t had a group date in a while. Tia’s got some campaign stuff so it might have to be late but...”

“Okay.” Adena rests her cheek against Kat, lulled by the steady rise and fall of their breathing. She’d put on pajamas to pray but now Kat’s thinking of getting her back out of them.

Kat turns over and Adena lets her. She’s clearly distracted by Kat’s boobs, but there’s also a cloud of words almost visible above her head.

“What are you thinking?”

She hums. “About the things that led us here, good and bad.” The smile in her eyes soothes Kat’s worry. “Regardless of what the future holds, I’m thankful for now. For you both. I love you.”

“Come here. I love you so much.”

She pulls Adena to her, delights in the way curly hair tickles her skin, the way knowing hands lift her up and make her come crashing down, willing and safe.

 

__________

 

Things are kind of dull at Scarlet. Even though social is constant, the magazine is in that brief period between issues with nothing urgent to do. Kat walks around the break area, waits as the phone rings.

“Hey, what’s up?”

“Hey. Just wanted to see if you’ve had lunch. I can meet you.”

“That would be,” Tia’s voice stretches, probably distracted by multiple things, “perfect. My eyes are starting to hurt.”

“Yeah, I figured.”

“You checking up on me?”

Kat clears her throat. “Well, you see, ma’am, I’m running for world’s best girlfriend. If you have a minute I’d like to talk with you--”

“Actually, you know what, I’m really busy right now. Swamped.” They’re laughing, remembering afternoons spent side by side cold calling voters.

Tia’s already in line at the deli about to pay when Kat gets there, so she waits by the window, raises her hand so Tia notices her. One of the tables is cleared and Kat grabs it quickly. Tia joins her, says, “I’m so glad to see you” like Kat’s an oasis among endless data and legislation. She slides a paper bag toward Kat, who tears into her chips first. Tia goes for her sandwich, unwraps the wax paper to take a couple greedy bites. She’s in that frustrating break mode when you have enough time to get away but not enough to get comfortable.

Conversation is light - gossip, Adena’s gallery prep - and Kat does most of the talking, but at some point it tapers and she hears Tia faintly, drawing her attention back.

“Baby? Earth to Kat.”

She blushes, has some dreamy expression on her face if the way Tia’s smiling back at her is any indication. She doesn’t have words but the look is enough.

Tia motions outside, says, “Come on.”

They aren’t far from her building so Kat walks with her. Tia pulls her into a solid hug.

Lips pressed to her head, Kat says “Thank you for your time. Have a nice day” with as much phony gravitas as she can.

They separate but then Tia shouts, “Hey,” making Kat turn around. “You got my vote.”

 

__________

 

One night she posts a pic. It’s nothing special but her braids are fresh and she’s lazy-drunk, music playing all around her. She just feels damn good. The caption, simply: _young black wild n free_.

 

__________

 

The crowd for Adena’s show is nice. They mingle and admire the artwork. Adena flits in and out of view, working the room as the lady of the evening.

Kat offers Tia a glass of white wine, smiles when she slips her free hand into Kat’s and laces their fingers. Her black dress is a knockout. And Kat was right about the heels.

Tia has a sip, says, “Is it just me--”

“Nope. I see it too.”

“Right?” They’re both staring at a nearby canvas. More than one piece in the show has a motif of three. Shells on a pebbled coastline, hands intertwined together. “It’s subtle. I thought I was imagining it.”

“Huh. We’re muses,” Kat laughs.

“If you cheese any harder…”

Kat knows she likes it too.

When she has some time, Adena finds them, hugging each of them in turn as Kat greets, “Hey, love” and they congratulate her.

She holds up a finger, suddenly remembering something. She says, “Tia, there’s a gallery owner here who I think would host the fundraiser.”

“Oh really?”

“Mmhm. I could give you his number later, but I thought you might want to be introduced” - she bites her lip, waiting to see Tia’s interest piqued - “win him over--”

“Yeah, now is good,” she decides, all business, but she looks at Kat. “I’ll be right back?”

Kat nods. “I’ll be here. Just chillin’.”

Tia squeezes her hand, Adena leans in to kiss her cheek, and Kat’s just a little dumbstruck watching them walk away together, heads bowed in conversation.

She pulls out her phone to take a picture and text Sutton and Jane.

_Power of three._

 

__________

 

Kat’s brushing her teeth, walking back and forth trying to get ready, and she can hear Tia and Adena talking softly. She pauses for a second. Adena’s putting in her earrings as both women stand at the kitchen table looking at something on Tia’s phone. They share a laugh, a soft peck on the lips between words, then another.

That’s new, still tentative and undefined, but Kat can give them space to figure that out, let them talk about whatever it is when they’re ready.

She draws their attention briefly. Adena says, “We’re going to be late.”

Kat answers, “No we won’t. I’m almost done” but it sounds like gibberish with her mouth full of toothpaste and the brush hanging from it. They get it anyway. They just get her.

There are the big things about their life, yeah, like the way her girlfriends find common ground in the way they grew up despite the cultural differences, or how complicated things get at times - three headstrong women, three separate apartments, individual lives that all twist their way around each other. That’s the big stuff, and somehow it works.

But there are little things too. The books and shoes sitting around, and back in the bathroom, the three toothbrushes, the different shades and fragrances of their cosmetics. It’s all the things that make her apartment feel lived in, full of love. Small certainties.

Kat thinks about it all, boldly looks at herself too. She smiles. This is her life. She’ll live it to the fullest.


End file.
